Article Posted - The Beginners Guide to a First Successful Bondage Scene
A lot of people don’t really know where to begin and what to do but want to begin a new kinky lifestyle. This, it seems is what prevent a lot of people trying to do bondage for the first time.
In this short article I will help you create a nice first scene. It’s fairly easy and of course you can always add your own flavor to it. A word of warning first though, make sure if you are using any type of bondage, be it rope, chains or cuffs that you know how to remove it quickly in an emergency, where the keys are and have a sharp pair of scissors (preferably medical scissors so that you don’t end up stabbing your partner with the sharp ends) to hand to cut off the rope in an emergency.
If this is your first attempt, then slow is best. Don’t forget it will be a learning process for you both. The more you learn about bondage and kinks the more fun you have. What I’m going to show you is a basic introductory play with bondage without any danger, just fun and pleasurable mind fucks. BDSM is about evoking sexual feelings, thoughts and pleasurable mind fucks. Setting the scene is an important part of that. The last thing you want is a wound up, tired, annoyed partner.
Preparation is the key for a good flight! Before hand, make sure you playroom (the bedroom is fine for this) is clean and warm because don’t forget one of you is going be naked on the bed and not really able to complain about the cold or sitting on something awkward! Subdued lighting can also help, if you feel in the mood. Obviously as you discover more, you learn more and try new things.
Secondly good music to suit the scene always helps relax you both! It’s a case of personal preference but some recommendations are here, here and here.
So to help your lovely playmate relax it can be a nice idea to bath with smelly oils for him or her and tenderly and carefully wash them whilst talking calmly to them and putting them at ease, it will help everybody relax and minimize those pre flight nerves!
So once in the bedroom you can use the most effective bondage available to restrain your playmate. Command them not to move! As this is a first time, don’t expect miracles, trust and respect is built up over time and BDSM is a subject where you don’t want to just jump in the deep end! If you so desire you can tie them up with rope, cuffs or even a bedroom bondage kit if you’re lazy and like things to go easy.
To heighten the experience you may find a blindfold useful, as when one sense is removed all the other senses move to compensate for the loss and increase in sensitivity and so you can evoke even better responses from your mate!
Now take your fingers and gently start to caress your partners body, slowly with the tips of your fingers, tease away, listen to their noises and see their expressions and learn whats good and whats not, tease them, excite them. Then you can try something harder, perhaps a pin wheel, if you like the idea of pleasure and pain or a soft scrap of fur, part of an old silk shirt, or if you get that nasty streak, perhaps some ice cubes.
Alternating between all these different textures and feelings is the beginning of a pleasurable mind fuck! Again pay attention to your lovely play partner. Talk to them Gently and tease them about whats coming next. Carry on with this and gently change the sensations for them and they will start to get very excited and you get to play with them in a way you maybe haven’t ever done before. Get it right and they will love you for it.
This is a good cheap way to learn about BDSM, to see if its for you, to ease potential partners into it. The agony and the ecstasy. Most of these items can be found cheaply in the local discount store, i.e. a cheap ice roller to help with bad backpain becomes a implement of sexual pleasure when rolled over a playmates skin.
Further reading and expert advice can be found here, and I can personally recommend “Screw the roses, send me the thorns” as one of the best books on BDSM I have ever read. From one fellow kinkster to another, this book is the bible of BDSM.